Who's Driving Your Bus? A Lesson in Patience, Asking for Help, and Mindful Navigation
Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons when we least expect it—sometimes through the unexpected frustration of being stuck behind a school bus. Other times, it comes when we least want it, like when we find ourselves needing help but refuse to ask for it. So, let’s take a little ride through some teachable moments that have shaped my thinking about patience, asking for help, and who’s really driving the bus in our lives.
The School Bus Tango: Patience, Please
I was on my way to the gym the other morning, looking forward to my pilates class. Well, that was the plan, anyway. What I wasn’t expecting was the traffic jam that stretched beyond belief. I was inching forward at what seemed like a snail's pace, trying to figure out what was going on. Was there a roadblock? A massive traffic incident? No. It was just a series of school buses, each with its blinking lights and stop signs waving at the world stopping to pick up students.
My first reaction? Classic: frustration. What in the world was going on? I had places to be! But then, something miraculous happened. Instead of letting the anxiety build, I decided to breathe deeply. Really deeply. I let go of the tight grip I had on the idea of how things should be. This was how things were, and I couldn’t change it.
Now, I’m not saying I found enlightenment in that moment (I did make it to class right on time), but I did get a little nudge about patience. Sometimes, we’re stuck behind a school bus in life—a situation we didn’t plan for, that feels slow and frustrating. But if we can accept the ride for what it is, instead of trying to force a quick detour, we often realize the world isn't as against us as we think.
Sometimes, we’re stuck behind a school bus in life—a situation we didn’t plan for, that feels slow and frustrating. But if we can accept the ride for what it is, instead of trying to force a quick detour, we often realize the world isn't as against us as we think.
B-Bus Chronicles: The Art of Asking for Help
Now, let's rewind a few decades to a moment that has stayed with me over the years, one that shaped the way I think about asking for help. I was in my 20s—single, fiercely independent, and determined to prove I could handle everything on my own. (Spoiler alert: I couldn’t.)
My car had been in the shop, and I needed to get to work. Instead of reaching out to anyone for a ride, I decided to give the local bus system a try. The "B-Bus," as it was called, seemed like a fine solution. After all, why bother anyone with a ride when I could just figure it out on my own?
What should have been a 10-minute drive turned into an hour-long bus ride. When I finally arrived at my office, my colleague—and now good friend—asked with a concerned smile, “What happened to your car? And why on earth did you take the bus?”
I explained my logic, that I didn’t want to "bother" anyone by asking for a ride. She listened thoughtfully, then asked me a couple of simple but powerful questions:
“Do you like helping people?”
“Of course!”
“Do you think other people like helping people?”
I paused, then answered, “Yes.”
“Then why didn’t you let someone help you by offering you a ride?”
Her question hit me like a ton of bricks. I had spent so much energy convincing myself I didn’t want to be a "burden" that I missed the opportunity for someone else to experience the joy of helping. Her words completely reframed my thinking. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak—it allows others to connect and be a part of your journey.
This simple shift has stayed with me ever since. Whenever I hesitate to ask for help, I remember that moment. Asking for help doesn’t make you a burden—it makes you human, and it offers others the joy of being able to give.
Her question hit me like a ton of bricks. I had spent so much energy convincing myself I didn’t want to be a "burden" that I missed the opportunity for someone else to experience the joy of helping. Her words completely reframed my thinking. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak—it allows others to connect and be a part of your journey.
Who's Driving the Bus? Mindfulness in the Driver's Seat
Now, let's talk about the most important question I’ve learned to ask myself when life feels out of control: Who’s driving the bus?
Picture this: you’re in a car (life), speeding along, and suddenly you hit traffic. Are you the one calmly taking the wheel and navigating the detours, or are you sitting in the passenger seat, letting your frustration, past experiences, or automatic reactions take the wheel?
The truth is, we all have moments when our automatic reactions, old habits, or anxious thinking take over the driver’s seat. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to let that happen. When I find myself overwhelmed or caught in a cycle of negative thoughts, I pause, take a deep breath (yes, like I did with the school bus), and ask myself: Who's driving the bus?
Am I allowing my racing thoughts to steer me in a direction that doesn't serve me, or am I choosing to take the wheel and navigate mindfully? It’s a simple shift in perspective, but it’s incredibly powerful. By acknowledging when my thinking is in control, I can choose to redirect my focus and approach life with more intention.
The Takeaway: Patience, Help, and the Power of Choice
So, what do school buses, the B-Bus, and “driving the bus” have in common? More than you'd think. They all remind us that:
Patience is not just about waiting—it’s about accepting what is, without trying to rush the moment or force things to go a certain way.
Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a chance to connect with others and let them help you just as much as you enjoy helping them.
And most importantly, you’re the one driving the bus. No matter what’s happening around you, you always have the power to choose how you respond.
The next time you find yourself stuck behind a school bus, stuck in traffic, or stuck in your own thinking, remember: you can always choose to take a deep breath, ask for help, and, most importantly, make sure you’re in the driver’s seat of your own life.
Reflection: Where in your life have you recently felt like you were "stuck behind a school bus," and how might practicing patience, asking for help, or taking control of your response shift your experience in that moment?
Action: This week, choose one situation where you typically feel impatient, overwhelmed, or out of control. In that moment, pause, take a deep breath, and consciously choose to either ask for help, slow down, or shift your response. Make a note as to how it changes your experience and/or outcome.