Storytelling

Lately, I’ve been finding myself reflecting on times in my life when I was quite a storyteller. Not the kind that holds the attention of a group of people listening, laughing, and enjoying what’s being said, but the kind that quietly spins tales in the privacy of your own mind. These weren’t entertaining anecdotes—they were belief systems. The messaging I absorbed from the “outside world” or from what I thought “everybody” believed was quietly interpreted, internalized, and turned into rules I thought I had to live by.

In my training as a coach, Martha Beck spent time focusing on the concept of “everybody.” She helped us understand that our social nature makes us long to fit in with a larger group, so we take on the tastes and opinions of others over time. Because it’s difficult to hold onto a wide range of beliefs and still function, our brains create a shorthand—an internalized panel of judges we collectively call “everybody.”

This “everybody” can sound so certain, so factual. Everybody says you shouldn’t rock the boat. Everybody thinks you’re too sensitive. Everybody agrees you should have figured this out by now. But here's the truth: “Everybody” is often a made-up audience. And what they’re clapping or frowning at isn’t always grounded in reality—it's a story we’ve told ourselves, sometimes for years.

What I’ve learned—both in my own personal journey and as a coach—is that these internalized stories lose their power when we begin to question them. When we ask: Whose voice is that?Is that even true?What do I actually want? The storytelling begins to shift. We stop living by someone else’s script and start writing our own.

What I’ve learned—both in my own personal journey and as a coach—is that these internalized stories lose their power when we begin to question them. When we ask: Whose voice is that? Is that even true? What do I actually want? The storytelling begins to shift. We stop living by someone else’s script and start writing our own.

One of the most powerful steps we can take is to recognize the difference between our “social self”—the one trying to earn approval—and our “essential self,” the part of us that’s aligned with our deeper truth. The more we listen to that essential self, the less we need to perform or please. We begin to live with more ease, more alignment, and more freedom.

So I invite you to pause and ask yourself: What stories are you still living by that were never really yours? What does your “everybody” say—and do you still believe them? What would it feel like to write a new chapter, one that’s entirely your own?

Reflection:  What are some beliefs or "truths" you’ve lived by that may have come from your version of “everybody”?  Take a moment to consider: Who is in your “everybody”? Is it a collection of voices from childhood, school, social media, or your profession? How have those voices shaped your choices?

Action Step:  This week, catch yourself in the act of internal storytelling. When you notice yourself thinking, “I can’t do that,” or “That’s just not how it works,” pause and ask: Whose voice is that? Is it really true? What do I want? Write down one outdated belief and then reframe it in a way that feels truer to your essential self.

Tool to Try: Use this journaling prompt to help shift an old belief - The story I’ve been telling myself is… But what feels more true for me now is…  Use this as a weekly check-in practice to separate your voice from the noise of “everybody” and stay in touch with your own deeper wisdom.