A Fresh Filter
This past Tuesday seemed to be the day of filters.
I’ve created a system around my mother’s oxygen machines. Every two weeks, I rinse the filter in the main unit in her bedroom. Once a month, I replace the filter in the smaller portable machine she uses when she leaves her apartment. It’s simple, necessary maintenance—nothing dramatic, just one simple responsibility in caring for my mom.
Later that morning, as I walked down the hall in her assisted living community to ask one of the aides a question, I noticed large mechanical filters laid outside every apartment door. It was clearly filter day there too.
And when I arrived home that afternoon, the water filter for our refrigerator had been delivered.
Three filters. One day. A theme I couldn’t ignore.
Filters Keep Systems Alive
Filters aren’t about perfection. They’re about function. Oxygen machines, heating systems, water lines—none of them can work properly if their filters are clogged, dirty, or overdue for replacement. Without regular attention, what’s meant to sustain us can quietly begin to fail.
In my work as a coach, I see this same truth playing out internally for so many people.
We are constantly filtering information—what we hear, what we absorb, what we believe, and what we tell ourselves about the world and our place in it. Most of the time, these filters are invisible. We don’t consciously choose them; they form over years through experiences, relationships, expectations, and survival strategies.
And like any filter, they need attention.
What Are You Letting In?
Every day, we take in words, opinions, emotions, and energy from others. Some of it nourishes us. Some of it exhausts us. Some of it slowly clouds our clarity without us even realizing it.
As adults, we often forget that we get to decide what deserves our energy.
Whose feedback actually helps you grow?
Which voices leave you feeling smaller, tense, or second-guessing yourself?
What information do you consume out of habit rather than intention?
A filter that once protected you may now be overdue for cleaning—or replacement altogether.
As adults, we often forget that we get to decide what deserves our energy.
Whose feedback actually helps you grow?
Which voices leave you feeling smaller, tense, or second-guessing yourself?
What information do you consume out of habit rather than intention?
What Are You Filtering Out?
Filtering isn’t just about protection; it’s also about permission.
Many people I work with are incredibly skilled at filtering themselves. They edit their truth, soften their needs, and mindfully hold back to avoid discomfort, conflict, or being misunderstood. Somewhere along the way, “being careful” became more important than speaking their truth.
January often invites reflection, but not necessarily gentleness. This year, what if your focus wasn’t self-improvement—but self-awareness?
Where are you silencing yourself unnecessarily?
What emotions or needs have you learned to dismiss?
What would it look like to allow more of your authentic voice through the filter?
January often invites reflection, but not necessarily gentleness. This year, what if your focus wasn’t self-improvement—but self-awareness?
Where are you silencing yourself unnecessarily?
What emotions or needs have you learned to dismiss?
What would it look like to allow more of your authentic voice through the filter?
A Gentle Invitation for the New Year
Filters don’t fail because we’re careless; they fail because life is constant. Use builds up. Conditions change. What worked before may not work now. You don’t have to overhaul your entire system. Sometimes, one small adjustment is enough to restore clarity. And just like oxygen, clean water, and steady warmth—what you allow in and out of your inner world matters more than we often realize.
As the year opens, let this be less about changing anything—and more about noticing what’s ready to be tended.
Reflection: Where in your life has something quietly built up — not because you’ve done anything wrong, but because it hasn’t been tended to in a while?
Action: Choose one small area of your life this month to gently clear or refresh. Don’t overhaul it. Simply tend to it with the same care you would a routine responsibility — something done so things can keep working well.
Tool: The Filter Check — Once a week, ask yourself three questions:
What feels heavy or stale right now?
What am I taking in that I don’t actually need?
What would help things flow a little more easily?
Write your responses down. This isn’t about figuring it all out - just noticing what’s ready to be tended.