Change and transitions
I remember distinctly being in a fog of disorientation in my late 20’s when everything I hoped for and dreamed about (the marriage, the house, the job) had suddenly turned into a nightmare. When I look back on the day I called my mother to say, “Mom, I’m getting divorced, I’m selling the house, I’m quitting my job and I’m starting a business,” it isn’t surprising that the amount of change I set in motion all at once would launch me into a cloud of confusion. This cloud of confusion is referred to as the “neutral zone” in William Bridges book Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes.
Bridges describes three phases of being in transition which consist of an ending, followed by a period of confusion and distress leading to a new beginning. Being in a state of confusion and distress is not a comfortable place to be. One of the patterns of behavior I’ve discovered about myself is that I try to skip the neutral zone or time of disorientation by filling my days with lots of activities so I don’t have to sit with feelings of uncertainty or lack of clarity.
This cloud of confusion is referred to as the “neutral zone” in William Bridges book Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes.
Bridges describes the neutral zone as “a time when the real business of transition takes place. It is a time when an inner reorientation and realignment are occurring, a time when we are making the all-but-imperceptible shift from one season of life to the next. Although such shifts cannot occur without an ending, and although they cannot bear fruit without a new beginning, it is in the neutral zone that the real work of transformation takes place.”
Helping people navigate change and understand the stages of change is a big part of the work I do as a coach. The neutral zone is an area I support clients. Endings and beginnings are easy to name and identify, but the in-between stage is a time in the transition process that can be tough to work through alone and can feel very uncomfortable. As a coach, my understanding of change theory combined with the changes I’ve maneuvered in life allow me to help people feel supported through each stage of the change cycle. Are you contemplating an ending, new beginning or are you somewhere in between? Want help with this process? Reach out to me and we can discuss ways we can work on this together!!
Reflection: “What we call the beginning is often the end; And to make an end is to make a beginning. The ends is where we start from.” T.S. Eliot Can you remember a time in your life where there was a clear ending and new beginning? What was your experience in the neutral zone?
Action: The way out of the neutral zone is the way in. Find a regular time and place to be alone. Sit quietly with a cup or tea or coffee or listen to soft music and just notice. Take a pause in the action of your life and listen to the messages your heart and soul want you to hear.
Tool: Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges