Creating a rich and meaningful life.
What do you really want and how are you going to use what you’ve learned (from my previous blog posts) to create a rich and meaningful life? Let’s start by getting clear on what you value. In Chapter 25 of Russ Harris’ book, The Happiness Trap, he focuses on four important domains of life: (1) Relationships; (2) Work/Education; (3) Leisure; and (4) Personal Growth/Health.
Not everyone values the same things, so taking time to figure out what YOU value is worthwhile. When you reflect on these questions, please answer as if there are no obstacles in your way; nothing to stop you from acting the way you truly want.
Relationships (This includes relationships with your partner, parents, children, relatives, friends, neighbors, and all other social contacts). What sort of relationships do you want to build? How do you want to behave in these relationships? What personal qualities do you want to develop? How would you like to treat others if you were the “ideal you” in those relationships? What sort of ongoing activities do you want to do with some of these people?*
Work/Education (This refers to your workplace and career, education and knowledge, or further skill development which may include volunteering and other forms of unpaid work). What personal qualities would you like to bring to the workplace (or place of study)? How would you behave toward your colleagues, employees, customers, clients, fellow students if you were your “ideal self?” What sort of relationships do you want to build in the workplace or school? What skills, knowledge, or personal qualities do you want to develop?*
What sort of relationships do you want to build? How do you want to behave in these relationships? What personal qualities do you want to develop? How would you like to treat others if you were the “ideal you” in those relationships?
Personal Growth/Health (This refers to activities that enhance your ongoing development as a human being physically, emotionally, and mentally). What ongoing activities would you like to start or take up again? What groups or centers would you like to join? What lifestyle changes would you like to make?*
Leisure (This refers to how you play, relax, stimulate or enjoy yourself; your hobbies, sports, artistic pursuits, or other activities for rest, recreation, fun, mental or creative stimulation). What sort of hobbies, sports or leisure activities do you want to participate in? On an ongoing basis, how do you wish to relax, unwind, or have fun, in healthy, life-enhancing ways? What sorts of activities would you like to take up or do more of?*
Leisure/Personal Growth/Health
What sort of hobbies, sports or leisure activities do you want to participate in? What ongoing activities would you like to start or take up again? What lifestyle changes would you like to make?
*Russ Harris, The Happiness Trap (Pages 174-176).
What does answering all of these questions tell you about what is important to your life? What are you paying attention to and what are you neglecting, avoiding or missing out on? Remember to be compassionate with yourself if you’ve been off track. All of us lose touch with our values at times and can behave in very self-defeating ways. Don’t dwell on the past because there is nothing you can do to change it. Connecting with your values HERE AND NOW and using those to take action from this point onward is what matters! Want help to explore this with a partner? Contact me to discuss ways we can work on this together!!
Reflection: Please take time to reflect on and answer the questions provided above.
Action: Go one step further and use the Values Worksheet Russ Harris adapted from the work of psychologists Kelly Wilson and Tobias Lundgren to help individuals identify, clarify and prioritize their values. This will provide information so you can set goals to help you move in a valued direction!
Tool: Values Worksheet