Where do you shine your spotlight?
Last month we learned about defusion, a concept from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that relates to your thinking and ways to create space from thoughts so they have less influence over you. This month we’ll continue using Russ Harris’ book, The Happiness Trap, to explore the “observing self” and the principle of expansion. In ACT, expansion is a way to make room for feelings and sensations instead of pushing them away or avoiding them (a/k/a “acceptance”).
Before diving into expansion, let’s learn a little about two different parts of yourself: the “thinking self” and the “observing self.” The thinking part of you thinks, plans, judges, analyzes, imagines and dreams. The observing self is aware, but does not think. It’s the part of you that is responsible for focus, attention and awareness. While it can observe or pay attention to your thoughts, it can’t produce them. The observing self is like a spotlight, it helps bring attention to something. By understanding where you shine your spotlight, you can learn to navigate thoughts and emotions in different ways.
The observing self is aware, but does not think. It’s the part of you that is responsible for focus, attention and awareness. While it can observe or pay attention to your thoughts, it can’t produce them. The observing self is like a spotlight, it helps bring attention to something. By understanding where you shine your spotlight, you can learn to navigate thoughts and emotions in different ways.
Defusion relates to thoughts in a similar way that expansion relates to emotions. Emotions generate a series of physical changes in our bodies that prepare us to take action. Physical changes such as increased heart rate or changes in blood pressure can show up in our bodies as butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms or shaky legs. By shining a spotlight on sensations and feelings, you can learn to make room for them. It all starts with the observing self.
To help you get more acquainted with your observing self, try the AND tool. First, become Aware of sensations by scanning your body. Notice where these sensations show up in your body and how they feel. Second, give a Name or label to these sensations (i.e. tight, churned up, tingly, hot). Next, try to Describe or label the sensations as an emotion (i.e. anger, burn-out, resentment, fear). Then, take a few slow breaths. Use the AND tool to help you become more cognizant of your observing self.
This is one simple expansion activity. Remember that noticing creates space between internal experiences (feelings and thoughts) and outward behavior. This space will help you become better at responding rather than reacting when difficult thoughts and feelings show up. Practice shining your spotlight on feelings and sensations in order to make room for them rather than pushing them away.
If you want to explore this more or learn about personal coaching, contact me for a 30-minute free consultation.
Reflection: How can you get acquainted with your observing self? What changes can you make in your life to allow small amounts of time to observe and notice? How can you shine your spotlight on thoughts and feelings to create space?
Action: 1. Spend time allowing your inner experience to come and go rather than trying to change it or cling to it. Practice using the AND strategy and being a neutral observer. 2. Watch Russ Harris’ Stageshow Metaphor to get a better understanding of the observing self.
Tools: Defusion tool - thanking your mind; Expansion tool - Body Scan